drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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