You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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