would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
