I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
