the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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