I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
