Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
