ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
