new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
