it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
