that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
