people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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