The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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