As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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