Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
