She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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