So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
