so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
