Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
