you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
