I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
