dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
