I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
