Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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