i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
