What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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