Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
