I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
