so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
