Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
