I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize