Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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