he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
