So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
