I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
