ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
