Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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