yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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