i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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