I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
