Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize