You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
