My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
