he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
