it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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