it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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