To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
