i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
