Are we in a gay sports bar?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
