lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
