Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
