They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
