Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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