ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
