How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Randomize
