I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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