i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
