Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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