Hey man sorry I got all grabby
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
